Dear Dad(Letter 2)

Asalaam Alaekum Abbu,

First of all, Dad I miss you. We all miss you. I regret not saying that while you were with us but I did miss you then, now it's even more. It's been a week since you're gone and the vacancy is increasing gradually. I'm going back to Kolkata, leaving mom with Grandparents, I had to, I have an exam tomorrow. Wish me luck, like you always used to, calling me just before exam wishing me luck instructing me again though you've said it a hundred times before but again you used to remind me how to manage time, attempt all the question, attempt those that I know first, after answering recheck to find any errors. I remember them. I remember you. As soon as I used to come back my phone would ring "Daddy Calling" and you enquire about every minute details. Ahh, I there are so many exams yet to give and the interviews, who would advice me?

Don't worry father, I'll handle my self, I've always been the patient one, but this is a lot to test :( I worry about Mummy. How would she spend her time. The first two days won't be the one when she'd feel lonely, then, we had so many people visiting us, it was all crowded and she was always accompanied by someone. The next two days there were still few people with us and house didn't feel much vacant. Moreover, Dad you used to go on tours for 3-4 days so it was natural for us, specially Mummy not to feel the void. I fear the days past now. Your death certainly created void in all our lives but the major void is in the life of Mummy. She spent half of her life with you by your side. Everything back there in home reminds us of you. Your almirah the clothes, your drawer, documenters briefcase, everything is neat and arranged. I feel really bad how she would have to live with all of this, all by herself. We(me and my sister) would return back to our lives and the socialism would bring us back to normalism, but mummy is all by herself now. She has no one to chat with, She'll miss your company during the Morning tea, during the breakfast when you used to be in hurry and that making Mummy doing chores speedily coming out of boring slow morning. She'll miss the lunch you both used to have together chatting on every topic that can be picked. She'll miss the evenings the most when you both sat on the balcony sipping tea with biscuits, always reading the namaz together and those little fights you had over food what should be made and what not. This time of iddat(staying indoors, not seeing any stranger men and much more) is indeed a brutal test of patience. May God give her patience, will and happiness.

I wish this time passes soon, then Shara(my sister) will call her to Hyderabad. And soon In Sha Allah, I'd get a job and I'll keep Mummy to stay with me. Of course who could let go mom's food plus she won't be lonely.

The train is going too slow, I hate when problematic time passes this slow. I wish I had served you more and took more blessings from you. There was so much more to talk about and take your advice upon.

The train is passing is through a tunnel now and it's all shadow only few occasional lights. Our life is just the same, sometimes slow sometimes fast, passing through entire blackened out tunnel which remains for a short span of time. There are nights, there are days. We're all moving forward at the same pace towards death. With the age as the seat number. Some get down before the last station some stay with us till the last breath. It's just a journey and we're all passengers. Some have shorter destination while some have long duration. It's life and now we have to live with it.

Goodbye Dad

Love you.