Nightmare

I'm lying there, partially paralysed, immovable, its all dark. Foggy surrounding, or is it smoke everywhere. I can hear my heartbeat, it's all silent like some kind of storm either just passed away or something more bigger is coming right at me. I can see the water puddles, I move my eyeballs first to the right and then to the left. It's like a war-zone, debris everywhere. My hands start to shiver, as I feel cold, I hear someone is coming, footsteps, yes those are footsteps, I can hear the "thud-thud" sound. I try moving, but I can't. I'm putting up all my effort of moving my legs, trying to stand up, but I can't. I can hear some steel clattering over somewhere far, and it is scaring, rather terrified. I gathered all my energy and put up all my effort to stand up and I'm starting to. The footsteps are now faster, and more audible. I start to walk and increase my pace to running. The darkness gathers all around, I stumble over something and Noo, I fell... it's dark deep pit, pulling out my gather to catch something, to someone catch me. My eyes wide open, I realise I'm back to my bed, my dorm(Hostel). It was just a dream.And now I'm awake. But wait, is the dream, not over yet? I have my eyes open, but I'm feeling trapped. I can't feel my hands, nor my legs. I try calling out my room-mates, someone to help me out, neither can I tilt my head, nor can I move my jaws, I can't even open my mouth. It's like "Locked-in syndrome"- a condition in which a patient is awake and aware but cannot move or speak because almost all the muscles in the body except for the eyes are paralyzed.

Nightmares have been common these days, but this, this was certainly different and something I experienced first time in my life. This was terrifying at a whole new level and even after hours of actually waking up I was still under goosebump effect with my hand literally shaking for every task I did. I got out of my Sleep-paralysis by pushing myself out of it. Trying with all my energy, like I had done in the preceding dream. The whole mood was ruined,I had my mind thinking about it all day long.
My dreams never used be this scaring or terrifying, rather it used to be all darkness, blacked out. Recently with the past events happening I think I need to calm my mind. I never really thought about Nightmares, but today post tragic event had put me into a state of shock. I had a dream, my father again, he is ill and we are trying our best to recover him. His state is worsening over time. Ahh.. I having those chills again while writing this, but I'm going to write that out, somewhere I need to vent out these emotions, can't bother people into this. While thinking about writing this out, I connected the dots, and it turns out, the state today I was in after waking up is the same state that Dad was going through in his last week. That stage where he could just roll his eyeballs, maybe shouting inside his mind, trying to have that last conversation as we were craving.
But again, I'm not sure if all my dreams have been related to him. After meeting Miley,(8th Jan) that night my dream was purely blissful. I was happy after waking up. The next day again involved her, kind of bad but at least I had her. I even talked to her about it. Those two days, it was refreshing waking up, we had each other, holding hands, by each others side. But other than those two days, I'm into lucid dreams, those nightmares. What's really worrying is why did I suddenly started dreaming, like seeing these kind of night terrors? I never used to, or rarely, once in a blue moon. These dreams are possessing plus dominating. One time it was scary again. I had this blurry images of owl and spiders, dark room, again I was shouting, phone wreaking, and something powerful entity trying to chase or coming towards me. I woke in the middle of the night, parched and sweating. I look around and there I'm in my room with everything under control. I closed my eyes and trying back to sleep when again, I'm back there in that dark room, this time, I see masked person having chats and I realise I'm back to the same dream. I have this sub-concious mind that know I'm sleep and all I need to do is open my eyes, but they are shut, like sticking with the dream around be continuing, distant chattering going on. I know something is not right and something bad is going to happen.
Dreams really do affect our daily lives. A bad dream can actually spoil your morning or worse, the whole day, anything you've planned out. Earlier, my worst dream used to be "her getting away." I guess since I've actually faced that in my real life, I'm over my worst fear and my brain is entering into new dimensions. Yeah, after all it's been long since my mind had it's own blackhole. That bright star, when it died, part of me died as well. Most of my luck and all of my brain activity too. I've never talked about her here, so let that still be the mystery girl, the Gwen, while I move on with my life figuring out how to deal with the problems that I myself create and how to solve them rather being a Bond to someone else's life.
I researched and found out "Meditation" would help. Nightmares are common if some mishap happens in your life and may continue for sometime. But the Sleep paralysis that I experienced post-awakening is a matter of concern. It might be indication of some brain problems, huge stress, or distress. I hope I don't get that back again, and wish nobody who reads this does. It was terrifying. Good-day people. Freddy aint real, so have a calm mind before sleeping. I'm thankful he didn't visit me, so far.

-Peace out!