As I was listening to this new song, "Aaftab" I reckoned, what happens to this world, after you are gone. Then I realized how the world perceives the scenario of you not being around them anymore. It basically depends on how you are gone and while you were alive what surrounding had you been living in.
Recently the news of this Indian actor Sushant Singh Rajput passing away suddenly, by committing suicide. The news was shocking, but what came aftermath was a wide-spread of condolences and conspiracy theories of what might have led to the act. Nevertheless, one thing was common, everyone was shocked and wanted to have him back once again. At least talk to him while alive. Talk to him once, hold him once, stop him once, but now that he is gone all we have with us are memories of the movies he did and what a wonderful man he was. The reaction was not unusual, from expected, but different from a common person. Let say a student c omitted suicide, all he has left behind is a world untouched and not interacted. Although, there are things which the said actor also might not have touched, but he surely had an impact. Then again there is death, the natural death that comes to a man, maybe sooner die to some illness or the old age, but that is not much of an impact to the society.
Since I lost my Dad, I know it was quite much of an impact, to those close, but that is widely accepted and we would move over it. But an abrupt death by suicide actually might be an ending of a bright aura that the person emitted, but it surely did a chain reaction with others thinking, this might be a way to escape whatever they are going through. I am no one to judge if that is correct of incorrect but that is a way for sure, which people have going in their head. There are religious books that mark this action as an unforgivable sin and we have a society that explains these as acts of a coward, but do they actually think of what made someone "coward". The said actor, had spread so much smile and himself quoted "Suicide is never a solution" had to go through this.
I really wanted to talk on this matter, but the problem is I don't really have a person in my life to talk to someone with and this is something that needs to be addressed. Sushant must really been going through a lot, but really a man with 80Million followers on Instagram really had no one to talk to. Not a single person. This can be answered considering the situation in my life. Let us be realistic, 80M followers, must have a few
'true' friends from his initials days of school, those school friends, like me, may not be much in contact, so that eliminates, sharing sensitive information with them and maybe asking for solutions. Due to changing schools and changing places where my childhood was spent, I literally have no school friends with whom I talk to. Let alone be the chance of explaining my problem and asking solutions to. Moving further, there may be college friends, but the thing with him is, he was an amazing student who was studious, and had interest not just in academic syllabus, but actually extra knowledge of many other things, mostly kids with that broad of a knowledge don't have a big circle, or maybe just too busy with himself that he never had chance to grow the friendship with them. Let us not totally cut them all out, maybe he had say 5 close friends. There is one fact that we are ignoring, he dropped out. So, being in a totally different field(acting) drifts him further apart from his friends. Now being in acting industry he might have made contacts, but this cuts through, how many of us have the friends from our offices, even friends with the people working on same floor? That would give a variable answer, some might some might not. I have people who have been working in offices for 2 straight years, but don't have a single person to spend a weekend with. For me, I might have friends from offices, but rarely to we talk on sensitive matter or even talk much other than office period.
I have the same 5 friends from college, but as we are ageing, we are realizing the relation is drifting much. Few busy with their significant others, some busy in their office schedule, and those who are neither, are much occupied in themselves. Just because you are living with someone does not mean the bond with grow along, it might be stronger, but drifting apart is natural.
This is so much the situation with every third person or maybe everyone, but some people have other people to vent it out, some have other means to vent it out, people like me keep storing it and one day, think of ending this vessel altogether.
So what happens when you are gone, you had vented it out. The answer is same, how you might have lived your life. I have always tried to find positivity and happiness around me and spread the same. I might not say this much but ignoring problems and looking at the brighter side not just helps you with the problem but also helps other to perceive problems in a different ways. I want people to have my name on their lips and the memories of happiest moments put a smile on their face. I don't try hard to impress people and keep them happy, all I try to do is keep myself happier with whatever I am facing and cheer that out. Other watching me, might either laugh at my foolishness or smile at my innocence. Either way I got smile on their face. Now you might question why not look at the brighter side of dealing with problems. The brightest way sometimes I feel is, maybe crying it out. Of course I have cried in front of people and regret for that. That part of darkness I should be hiding from the people, they don't deserve it. They are good people. The thing is I might be bad at stuff like making friends, making people stay, that is why I loose them. I might not have people who care when alive but I will have them not to be blamed after I am gone, then I might have mastered the skill of caring.
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